Today was a tough day at the office. We made a decision that was tough for a lot of people in the team, but which we honestly believed was the right thing to do.
This is without doubt the worst thing about management. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions that affect other peoples lives and then look them in the eye and tell them what you have decided.
We had spent a lot of time in recent days analysing our options and trying to ensure that we were definitely making the right decision, but when we actually went through with it and reality hit, my heart sank and my mind started racing;
“Is this really the right thing to do?”
“Is there really no other option?”
“Should we change our minds at the last minute?”
“Is it already too late?”
Looking back this evening, I can see more clearly again that it was the right decision, that we did it for the right reasons and that in the long run it will probably be best for everyone.
However, it doesn’t change the fact that we never wanted to be in this situation in the first place and that perhaps things could have been done differently in the past to have averted this situation. I spent the day in a place of deep sadness, blaming myself for what I believed to be the events leading to today.
It was a great consolation to me in the afternoon when a friend and colleague shared some wisdom with me. She told me that I should stop blaming myself and stop worrying about whose fault it is.
I learned an important and powerful life lesson, that it doesn’t always matter whose fault it is and it may not even be anyone’s fault. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way that we had hoped. We need to give ourselves time to mourn and have faith that time will heal us.